17 august 2010````

all human only human~

it is a human characteristic to be aware of contrasts- is it? that contrasts reflect transition and change- and that these things signify a truth. and that we are interested in truth at all.

08 august 2010````

- LIFE!! why not! action perpetuates action~

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02 august 2010````

- I remember the smell of chlorophyll things, alive things, and a constant film over the day of that drone of nearby cicadas.  I remember the taste of salt on my lips and stinging my nostrils when I would float underwater as long as possible and flip endlessly, in the sea.  Water is air is water is Nothing.  I still do this thing, I try and try to mimic that non-state of stillness, nothingness, Home.

- I remember I would always win at hide-and-seek because I hid on top of the refrigerator, and no one ever looks up.

- I remember the almost briny and sterile smell of the first place. How it rose up, a cold mist from a sewer in the brightmoon nights that I lay awake, watching the ceiling turn.

- I remember sleeping on the highest part of the roof, feeling safe and not knowing that was why I did that all summer.

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21 july 2010````

shortlist of summerthingS

- rhythms and cadences: droning through hair/ cracking the dusk / floating through eyelids / washing up on shore / waking vast sleeping grasses

- eyes: furled in sunny brows / closed in future dreams / closed for distant pasts / closed to let lidveins rest / closed to sleeep in the dark and chlorophyllic

- airs: calm and thick and cool and erratic / leaving close waters for the tundra

- musics: solid silence

16 july 2010````

no one ever grows up; they just grow::::

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16 july 2010````

Blood[+] Works on Rebecca Horne's Blog; Photo Director for Discover Magazine!

http://rebeccahorne.blogspot.com/

7 july 2010````

terrible waters in the head make terrible storms from reality fled

we are lost always. whats funny is that when i am peace with this, i call it Life, Living, Searching, Growing.  when i cannot accept this Constant of Lost, i call it lost, Only Lost.  But no matter what i am Always lost. Lost is Life. Lost is room to go and find and move and grow.

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20 june 2010````

the shortlist of lists for now

- the list of locations of golden drawers

- the list of stains in the heart

- the list of if's and why not's

- the list of saved cracked teapots.

19 june 2010````

A
Animal/Creature/Man- life of, routine of, blood of, meaning for/of, differences between, connections between;

Above- the world of motion; the routine world; the things that move and grow and change; still winds, still heights, still self, still;  we cannot be still as much a we try;

Apogee- of life; of a lifetime; is there one? Are there any?  Of humanity; of a day; of a daily anatomic cycle;

B
Below- the world of motion; the routine world; the things that move and grow and change; surrounded by thickness of water and loud silence and pressure; stillness; [see Above]

Birth- the first seemingly still months before; stillness in water; water is air is breath is stillness is silence;

Balance- in Rhythms;  in visual states; off kilter balances such as Four, Three, Two Plus One; in inner states; constant attempt to find, while always moving, changing, growing; water in a container in constant motion, finding balance while adapting to the shape and angle;

Blood- fascination with; peace in; beauty or appreciation in; thrilling nature of; thriving though us coursing through veins; moving Life forward without question without obstacle without fear; life-giver, life-propeller; life-symbol; simplified symbol; easy symbols, symbols with judgments;

Buoy- a safety that is not a safety; prevents the sinking into silence and peace underneath; prevents the letting go of rigidities;

C
Collecting- hoarding, difference between;

Chaos/Order- [See Balance]- constant balancing between, overlapping of; fractal patterns in life, in blood-veins, in growth patterns of the psyche; in all things life, resembling simply and relating complexly;

Change- aversion to; constant battle with; acceptance of; embracing of;

Chance- relation to and causes of change; impulsivity;

Curiosity- propelling one forward; propelling one backward;

Climbing; high up, Above; [see Above]

D
Death- curiosity in; measurement of; sadness of the after; not mine but of all loved ones;

Discovery- of new, of old/new, of sensory new, of new ways to be above and below Change;

Distance- from the World of Change; from the world that is Change; from other humans; from the self; from the Present; from the immediate; from Now; from Thens; from motion; from the voice coming out of my mouth; from the thoughts and actions and movements that seem to be mine; from my mother; from everybodyEverything; from time that is happening always;

Danger- false yet realistic sense of; creation of; clouded view of; excitement from;

CommentS!

12 june 2010````

                    ---BLOOMSDAY 2010 GROUP EXHIBITION/READING/EVENT!---

James Joyce's Ulysses
Exhibition, Projection, Reading
25CPW June 16 from 6-10pm
25 Central Park West, New York, NY (at the corner of
W 62nd Street)
http://www.25cpw.org/

The exhibition, projection, and reading will be held in the downstairs gallery.
The projection will run from 6-7pm. Readings will begin at 7:15.
This event is open to the public.

CommentS!

31 may 2010````

- "online privacy" is an oxymoron. doesnt make sense, and it shouldnt really be expected.

- there is something very comforting in: listss, sublists, new things, found things [that are Old and then seem new [[[ like a photograph or a greaT pen ]]] ], attempting to own my punctuation while note-taking, the power of punctuation to Prioritize, and counting.

- Seven/7/1+6/3&4/16-9/63 divided by 9/7x1/ is nice today; 4 is nice always.

- the [not so clear] difference between writing to read it and writing to expel it.

- the relationship betwen fear, anxiety, laziness, and paralysis.

---a round thought//a lightweight eye//a prickly pinky-promise//a sweet egg//a worried hand//an unlucky smile//a blurry story//a laugh in summer//a green apple with dark chocolate and basil//frantic feet//loose ears.

- cobolt blue, the red of that shirt.

CommentS!

[[belated for 28 APRIL!!:]

a Belated THANK YOU to all who made it out on Thursday!!!!

installation views:

CommentS!

23 may 2010````

nowWHAT. its a great thing to fool myself into seeing when its epic, even when it never is. blue-black paint oozes slow, too slow; it is a dripping molasses face looking right into mine. release, relief, pride slow motion and odd smiles live in the moment. if life is a series Only of moments, then what is the matter? what matters is that the Rhythms continue.

CommentS!

17 may 2010````

i ekil stnedicca.
yletanutrofnu i ekil selur erom.
evi tog ot evaha retteb metsys.

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10 may 2010````

Salt. 

Heavy, hail-sized crystals of salt crusted above on the shores; I am deep below, still and safe though seawaters move around my body, a mass I cannot discern from the vastness now. Vines and seawater and grasses thrashing growing as they stay rooted growing out and up and across, thrashing around surrounding me.

I breathe.

I am becoming the water I am a creature of the earth of the sky and of the sea of all things still and with pressure that muffles ears into heavy silence.  I am a creature of this earth-sea I thrash and thrive with its Life; now we are one sprawling entity of sea, salt, chlorophyll, meshed veins, meshed vines, meshed blood, meshed water-waves.  I am lost in a sea of water-air that has no end. 

It is a good lost; the kind that I never want to be found from here.  Simmering whites of water waves; filling my non-ears melding with my non-tears hot and irritating and yet running in place, a vast space to be still, weightless, water, air, free.

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14 april 2010````

I am the hunter; i hunt little roaches in my kitchen cupboard with my unsheathed roach-smoosher-spear; a small plastic cylindric container formerly filled with after-shave. these are tools we live by. this is the seeming futility of life.

but after all, isnt Life to be teetering always on the cusp of futility? isnt that moment when i free myself of the un-balance, the moment i can forget and be free?

CommentS!

>>>>>>>Thank you all for coming out; your visits are very much appreciated :D :D :D :D

9 april 2010````

TONIGHT!!!!

ICP-BARD MFA THESIS GROUP SHOW upcominG!!

2010 ICP-Bard MFA Thesis Group Exhibition                           On View: 9 April--23 May

OPENING RECEPTION: Friday 9 April, 7:00-9:00p;                      Alumni Reunion Toast: 8p

School of the International Center of Photography                                   1114 Ave of the Americas at 43rd St

icp.org

CommentS!

30 march 2010````

ICP-BARD MFA THESIS GROUP SHOW upcominG!!

2010 ICP-Bard MFA Thesis Group Exhibition                           On View: 9 April--23 May

OPENING RECEPTION: Friday 9 April, 7:00-9:00p;                      Alumni Reunion Toast: 8p

School of the International Center of Photography                                   1114 Ave of the Americas at 43rd St

icp.org

17 march 2010````

sometimes hellos are just as sad as goodbyes.

CommentS!

05 march 2010````

just for the record i hate 5. but today happens to be a day to write anyway. besides, its the 6th in other parts of the world. pheW.

there are places we know that are part of what we call Home. not always physical places, but places we are certainly familiar with. that we have memories of, that yet, we know are not part of our current file of experiences.

we all have visited these Places; they surround our daily lives, daily environments, daily psyches. these are Places that could be long ago, could be still standing and yet have never quite existed.

i am searching. if i walked through such a place that is here and yet nowhere, that is familiar nonetheless, i would feel at Home. i would find that place that, in the end, has been with me the entire time, and that i will also never truly find.

CommentS!

02 march 2010````

i was talking to my friend about the strange disconnect we see happen on sites based on interchangeability and 'response' - when a response is nothing more than a 'like comment' or a 'post' that just floats in time and cyberspace [that was really fun to use that word!]

it seems at first that these sites- facebook, twitter, what have you. are in the end creating 'nothings' of empty exchanges- they become small exchanges that mean nothing in comparison to honest and real human exchange. people post a 'like' or a 'join a group' and feel they are connecting while they dont even talk to each other or see each others face.

but, they arE connecting. ! why take internet exchanges so seriously- of thesE particular sites? the very nature of these interchangeability-reliant sites Are to be taken lightly i think; they are structured in the same way we have Small Talk. which does not ever make meaningful talk--

--but doeS make meaningful exchange, and connection. in that these small and seemingly pointless exchanges keep people in contact with each other on the surface level- that is needeD for deeper connection. from there we gain various levels of connection- just knowing someone is paying attention to your 'posts' and what youre up to, to opportunities for further talk and more truly meaningful connnection via email or meeting in person. and what about that feeling of connection we get when someone doeS reply with a 'like' or a comment? that is a sort of reassurance that people wanT to interact in this strange non-space.

the internet is not quite Devaluing how we exchange- it is more highlighting the strange natiure of the Range of human exchange that already exists in various forms. arent the people we keep in these Light contacts with, the same people we might never have kept in contact in the first place, since we dont see them in person or live near them, etc? isnt it a nicer thing to keep in minor contact with people we rarely see anyway, opening opportunities for more exchange, than keep in only intense contact with very few people, but closing off other opportunities alltogether?

CommentS!

27 feb 2010````

i never understand why it matters. and why despite this discord between reality and awareness, i tolerate it and celebrate it every day.

CommentS!

23 feb 2010````

its funny how one day we wake up in an adults body, with a longer history than the last you checked; and yet no matter how large and aged our bodies get we are always so very small at times.

CommentS!

17 feb 2010````

anxiety abounds in places and times of life that, no matter how often quelled, will never quite find balance in the same way as the reliability of a single hour or half-day. however somehow, i always make it out alive. how petty our inner monologues can be!

things are never quite as epic as i envision them. still, in underlying waves i feel the rush of life beneath me, within my tiny capsules of flesh-cells, coasting in pools of vitreous humor, and through the repeating fractal carriers of long quiet journies that are my veins.

CommentS!

13 feb 2010````

its my favorite when things are ok after they werent; before theyre not again, until again, they are.

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08 feb 2010````

its odd how people congregate to a space and then ignore each other. lifelifelifelife. If we all knew why we were doing this, and knew the Point, i suppose it wouldnt be Life. i still wake up and ask myself each morning, what is this thinG?

words i hate today:

- glossy; fresh; marbled; nothing

words i am liking today:

- why; never; everything; finally

it may change tomorrow, everything always does.

CommentS!

02 feb 2010````

- I remember the smell of chlorophyll things, alive things, and a constant film over the day of that drone of nearby cicadas.

- I remember I would always win at hide-and-seek because I hid on top of the refrigerator and no one ever looks up.

- I remember sleeping on the flat part of the roof and feeling safe and not knowing it.

- I remember climbing the tallest tree in our yard every day, a towering pine that my mother cut off the first few branches of, trying to prevent me from making it to the top and possibly falling. I would be still and the world was at a distance and neither of us was in motion, transition, or anything that grew toward change.

CommentS!

27 jan 2010````

"We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.”

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22 jan 2010````

PLEASE VOTE for ME: http://www.artistswanted.org/tcronin1981

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19 jan 2010````

strange; here i to speak to no one and everyone; the things we find ourselves saying.

today. today is gray and grey with soft light and perfect cool air, and i am alive with others, and that is a grateful thing always.

CommentS!